My Mother Cleaned For Lady with Dementia
My mother worked 3 jobs and went to night school to support us 5 kids. Dad was only getting a small monthly workman’s comp check from the post office that barely covered rent, let alone expenses for a family of seven. His work-related accident meant mom would need to be the bread winner in the house. My mother was a hard worker. But my mother’s mother was not very big on education not when she could work at home. Needless to say, my mother didn’t graduate high school, but years later she was determined to to get her GED and go back to school and reeducate herself around the start of the wordprocess age. No, she was not going to be a programmer or write code. Yet, she knew computers would be the future and if “she wanted to get out of dead end job,” as my dad always put it “get off you duff and educate yourself!” (Never did find out what “duff” meant, just always assumed he meant butt.”) My dad was never TACTFUL when it came to inspirational and motivational speeches.
I even took a Typing class (typing with a Word Processor–it’s a huge keyboard and blue screen with green text with no smartphone app ‘s – in case you don’t remember or for any one that don’t know what I’m talking about) with my Mom. Mom worked for Pip Printing, and would bring home tons of scrap paper or error jobs. (So I always had paper to draw on. It was not always white or 8×11.) She also took cleaning jobs. She worked for a few seniors. That is when I had my first encounter with Dementia. One woman my mother cleaned for was in her 80’s, she was so kind to me. She had a 24 hour Nurse to take care of her medical needs. Mom cleaned.
Dementia: True Fellow-feeling For People Suffering.
I was home from school for a dentist appointment and my mother took me to work with her, after I went to the dentist. I remember sitting on the plastic covered sofa (I’m not sure if that is a 70’s Boston thing, or a Italian thing or grandmother thing, but my grandmother had all her sofas covered in plastic, too!) . I remember the strong stale odor of the home. The windows painted shut and remember seeing white mice everywhere. Most of all, I remember this woman kept calling me and talking to me as it I were her son.
She was reliving a period of time then and she did not know who I was. She started to get very agitated and started yelling-screaming-crying – the nurse did not know what to do. “Stop it” the nurse kept saying but she just kept getting louder! My mother hurried me into the far end of the house. I guess this could be “Aggressive Dementia.“
The PAID caregiver nurse was at her wits end and left the room. That’s when I saw my mother sitting with the woman. I could hear my mother softly talking to the woman, calmly speaking with her. I got up off the plastic sofa to see what was going on. There I could see my mother reach out to hug and hold the scared woman. The woman who just seconds ago was confused and screaming…was now calm and peaceful listening to the cleaning lady’s voice, my mother’s voice. While the nurse, was no where that I could see.
It was not till I started writing this blog, that I started thinking about that day. I have not thought about that day or even told any one about it–till right now. Yet, I must have been around 9- to 12 years old. As a good Italian boy, I have a special fondness for my mother. Nevertheless, I truly believe this was the day that I saw the LOVE of my mother at work for a stranger-in-need. True Fellow-feeling for people suffering – displaying compassion with love and dignity. It may be a deep down defining moment in my life that until now, I have not been able to recognize. A forgotten memory found while composing this post. Now think about the reverse, most dementia suffers have their precious memories ripped and stolen from them hours, days and weeks at a time.
Now being like that fly on the wall in the study by Jane Collingwood this study means more (is precious) to me. I feel deeply for anyone who suffers any type of dementia. And there are a number of different types. I will list below if you did not know. I didn’t know, I thought dementia was all the same. There are different causes and symptoms.
NOTE UPDATE- I found information on a just released clinical study: effects of a diabetes drug could change the way Alzheimer’s disease is treated.. See more below.
Types of Dementia
- Alzheimer’s Disease
- Vascular Dementia
- Dementia With Lewy Bodies (DLB)
- Parkinson’s Disease Dementia
- Mixed Dementia
- Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD)
- Huntington’s Disease
- Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease
- Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus
- Wernicke-Korsakoff Syndrome
Reference:
Fruit Fly Study Probes Protein Role in Aggressive Dementia
Chato Stewart here again with a Toss-Back-Toon! When I get inspired, after reading something by one of Psych Central Bloggers or Writer articles…I have a toon that would great with that Article.
National Cartoonist Day:
Remember 
This symbolized the bumps and bruises of living with the mental illnesses bipolar disorder and depression…it may forever leave me “black and blue” but it won’t keep me down! So, coloring the shirt blue and the pants black are more of a symbol of hope…Of what I’ve suffered and that I’m still standing.
So HELL YELL, Celebrate Living, Celebrate everyday! Recovery is not a short road trip. It’s a long road with many turns, many unpaved roads, we need to Celebrate our achievements. Each day remembering that we have come a LONG way–even if that long way was just a baby step. NEVER give up! Celebrate our recovery Every day…but you don’t have to get a cake each day.
