

Caption: Are you In a Sustainable Marriage
The unique wedding proposal that changed my life!
February 10, 2015 is 24 years since I asked Joan Winifred to marry me. When she said yes, it was a good day, a very good day! I got the whole thing on video long before every one had a way to record every second of every day in High Definition Video.
Back then, the camera was the size of a suitcase, and my friend (we’ll call him Larry for privacy) wanted me, Chato Stewart to record myself pretending to propose to my girlfriend Joan. Then Joan would reject my proposal, thereby devastating me on video. His goal was to make me look like a fool in order to send it into America’s Most Funniest Video and try to win some money. I had other plans, I wanted to win a bigger prize! And since I already had the diamond, I just needed the right opportunity to present itself to pop the question… And this was perfect. I went in the other room, grabbed the diamond, both Joan and Larry thought this was going to be a joke, but when Joan saw the real diamond, she was in shock. She couldn’t believe that this was happening. It was a nice surprise. Oh, of course, she did say yes! (And yes, I got down on both knees.)
Unfortunately, the video got damaged. While we’ve watched it a few times over the last 24 years, we never had it digitized. There is water damage, possibly permanent damage. I have it tucked away and I hope to one day try to send it away to get repaired.
Lost memories, one thing that you can’t put a price on. But first you need to have a sustainable marriage. There are many people that have sustainable marriages. Sustainable relationships: what makes a sustainable relationship and a sustainable marriage?
Our wedding anniversary will be 24 years this October. You could say we have a sustainable marriage simply because we are together. But those 24 years have been riddled with some very trying times. Quite frankly, many marriages in a similar situation: where one partner is living with a mental illness or condition long-term; it’s not easy. Chronic illnesses and challenges creating a caregiver out of your partner and many times, it is far too much for some marriages to bear…and the relationship crumbles.
Now, it’s not just the fact that mental illness causes contributing factors to some marriages ending…let’s not forget that marriage, by itself without mental illness as a contributing stress factor, has a very low success rate. So what has made my marriage such a success? I can tell you that has less to do with me and more to do with her and everything to do with faith!
Take a Test
What is it going to take to have a sustainable marriage? Look over the following 10 questions, then I would like you to take one of Psych Central’s quizzes titled:
The Sustainable Marriage Quiz
- How much does being with your partner result in your having new experiences?
- When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?
- How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
- How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
- How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
- How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
- How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?
- How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
- How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
- How much does your partner increase your knowledge?