The unique wedding proposal that changed my life!

February 10, 2015 is 24 years since I asked Joan Winifred to marry me.  When she said yes, it was a good day, a very good day!  I got the whole thing on video long before every one had a way to record every second of every day in High Definition Video.

Back then, the camera was the size of a suitcase, and my friend (we’ll call him Larry for privacy) wanted me, Chato Stewart to record myself pretending to propose to my girlfriend Joan. Then Joan would reject my proposal, thereby devastating me on video.  His goal was to make me look like a fool in order to send it into America’s Most Funniest Video and try to win some money.  I had other plans, I wanted to win a bigger prize!  And since I already had the diamond, I just needed the right opportunity to present itself to pop the question… And this was perfect. I went in the other room, grabbed the diamond, both Joan and Larry thought this was going to be a joke, but when Joan saw the real diamond, she was in shock.  She couldn’t believe that this was happening.  It was a nice surprise. Oh, of course, she did say yes! (And yes, I got down on both knees.)

Unfortunately, the video got damaged. While we’ve watched it a few times over the last 24 years, we never had it digitized. There is water damage, possibly permanent damage. I have it tucked away and I hope to one day try to send it away to get repaired.

Lost memories, one thing that you can’t put a price on. But first you need to have a sustainable marriage. There are many people that have sustainable marriages. Sustainable relationships: what makes a sustainable relationship and a sustainable marriage?

Our wedding anniversary will be 24 years this October. You could say we have a sustainable marriage simply because we are together. But those 24 years have been riddled with some very trying times. Quite frankly, many marriages in a similar situation: where one partner is living with a mental illness or condition long-term; it’s not easy. Chronic illnesses and challenges creating a caregiver out of your partner and many times, it is far too much for some marriages to bear…and the relationship crumbles.

Now, it’s not just the fact that mental illness causes contributing factors to some marriages ending…let’s not forget that marriage, by itself without mental illness as a contributing stress factor, has a very low success rate.  So what has made my marriage such a success? I can tell you that has less to do with me and more to do with her and everything to do with faith!

Take a Test

What is it going to take to have a sustainable marriage? Look over the following 10 questions, then I would like you to take one of Psych Central’s quizzes titled:

The Sustainable Marriage Quiz

1. How much does being with your partner result in your having new experiences?
2. When you are with your partner, do you feel a greater awareness of things because of him or her?
3. How much does your partner increase your ability to accomplish new things?
4. How much does your partner help to expand your sense of the kind of person you are?
5. How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?
6. How much do your partner’s strengths as a person (skills, abilities, etc.) compensate for some of your own weaknesses as a person?
7. How much do you feel that you have a larger perspective on things because of your partner?
8. How much has being with your partner resulted in your learning new things?
9. How much has knowing your partner made you a better person?
10. How much does your partner increase your knowledge?

http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/sustainable_marriage.htm

Friday The 13th –

Fear, it is something  that can stop a man or woman in their tracks. Yes, fear can freeze you momentarily or it can cause a knee jerk reaction, fight or flight attitude. My Pun: Fair not? For fear itself is not fearful because the fear we have doesn’t have to be fearsome if we just use some fairly simple phobia techniques…handling it we may farewell.

Today is Friday the 13th. It is a day that strikes fear in to many. It is also a day like any other day for many others. Fear of this day is called by two specific names Friggatriskaidekaphobia, Triskaidekaphobiathat. If you have this type of phobia, then today may not be a good day for you unless you follow a few simple rules.

What the Friggatriskaidekaphobia?! Friday the 13th AGAIN!

Number one: don’t allow this day or any other day to rule your emotions! Fear or anxiety from Friday the 13th may only be in your head, just as stepping on a crack may break your mother’s back. I’ve stepped on lots of them; my mother is fine. Breaking a mirror has not brought me bad luck. Although, I don’t remember breaking any mirrors in the last 7 years. Also, I’ve never wasted salt over my shoulder since I’d rather put it on my steak or chicken. I love me some chicken!

What to fear on Friday the 13th? It could be even more SNOW…That might be a warranted fear, since this winter has dumped more snow up north then it has in the last almost 40 years, I think.

Therefore, Mental Health Humor drew a cartoon, for Friday the 13th, dedicated to everyone dealing with the huge snow piles with this winter’s snow storms. I guess Punxsutawney Phil decided winter would last another six more weeks. You can think that groundhog for all the snow! I have a few superstitions going on in today’s Mental Health Humor with the obvious black black cat crossing the path and hell freezing over with huge snow piles about to crack and cover over poor, little Ray. Right before he had to go to his mother-in-law’s to dig out her driveway. Or a curse. I don’t know if Ray would think that as a blessing or curse.

I’m just glad living here in Florida, I do not have to dig any more snow. I had my fill in Boston for over 30 years.  When i got sick the working out side in the cold for 25 year I thought it was time for a change…A Florida chance.

Overcoming Fears, Phobias and Panic Attacks

By JOHN M. GROHOL, PSY.D.

1. The Experimental Method

Do an experiment to test your belief that you’re “cracking up,” having a heart attack, or losing control.

2. Paradoxical Techniques

Exaggerate your fears instead of running away from them. If you have the fear of cracking up or having a stroke, you try your hardest to crack up or have a stroke.

3. Shame-Attacking Exercises

Purposely do something silly in public, in order to overcome your fear of appearing foolish.

4. Confront Your Fears

http://psychcentral.com/lib/overcoming-fears-phobias-and-panic-attacks

Strawberry: “!”
Chocolate Dipped Strawberry: I thought she was “THE ONE” then I found her warming up the chocolate fondue fountian.
Caption: Is Your Relationship Based on Love or Lust?

My Relationship: Love, Lust or Chocolate?

Riddle: What gift costs nothing to buy, becomes priceless when given?  If you’re thinking chocolate you’re almost right: since 98% of the world LOVES chocolate!  The other 2% have not tasted it, yet. The Answer is: LOVE.

So, how do you know if you are in love or not?! Psych Central has just the quiz to help you out.  Well, maybe, the Chocolate Dipped Strawberry in my Mental Health Humor cartoon can offer some help, too. I think it could shed some light on a few things that could be worked on. Such as: how I can get more peanut butter into my chocolate…That is my weakness for chocolate candy…I can say NO! No! No! a thousand times to chocolate candy bars.  But you add peanut butter, my knees buckle and I give in… I love it.

I Know that has nothing to do with a real relationship…OR does it???  I guess, you will have to take the quiz to find out.

Do I have a Love, Lust or Loser Relationship?

My results say:  You have a Love Relationship 40

S C O R E S

You’re more in love with your partner than in lust, which is a good thing if you’re looking for a relationship with emotional committment and long-term possibilities. While you appreciate and enjoy the sex life you have with your significant other, it doesn’t define your relationship. You have a serious, emotional attachment to your partner, and it sounds as if the two of you may have long-term possibilities.

Good, mature relationships strike a balance between many competing factors. It is often difficult for a person to maintain that balance, but you appear to be doing so and should be proud of the healthy love relationship you’re in.

http://psychcentral.com/lovequiz.htm

Quick Compassionate Love Quiz

My results say: Results of your Quick Compassionate Love Quiz:

You answered this quiz in a way that suggests that you feel a lot of compassionate love for your partner.

Your partner is lucky: You are very supportive of him or her and respond compassionately when he or she is in distress. You also seem to make a strong effort to see the world from his or her point of view. You care about enriching your partner’s life and are willing to make sacrifices so that he or she can be happy. These are skills that help you support your partner and negotiate conflicts, which should lead to a stronger, healthier, and longer-lasting relationship.

 Snowman: Ha-Ha, I’m rich! I got donations from every snow bank in town!

 This one is for my sister(s) up in Boston and for all my family digging out of the snow this winter. Sorry about your mean neighbor(s) that won’t let you put any snow in/close proximity to their yard, but keeps using their snow blower to put tons of snow back on you.

You know there is some one making a lot of money from this snow – however, right now, it’s causing a lot of stress.  Well, unless you’re a snowman I guess.

Chato Stewart: (day dreaming)
Mr. Spock: Remember
Caption: Live long and Prosper

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

This above-title, to me, is to me one of the most iconic line in the all of Star Trek’s history!  Aside from the #LLAP “Live long and Prosper” of course! You don’t have to be a Trekkie to understand its meaning.  It holds even more emotional weight now, especially if you love the show and know where it’s quoted from…

This was from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, 1982  – To save the Enterprise, the crew and his friend Star Trek’s Capt. James T. Kirk—a.k.a. William Shatner…Mr. Spock  must sacrifice his life to repair the main reactor chamber.

“Do not grieve, Admiral. It is logical. The needs of the many outweigh …” to which Kirk finishes, “the needs of the few,” and Spock nods. “Or the one …” Spock states that he himself never took the Kobayashi Maru simulation “until now,” and asked Kirk, “What do you think of my solution?”

Kirk, stricken with grief, can’t reply. “I have been and always shall be your friend. Live long and prosper.” He holds out his hand, in the traditional Vulcan salute, and Kirk presses his hand up to the glass as well, watching as Spock slumps to the floor, and dies. – http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084726/

Leonard Nimoy died at 83, Friday, February 27, 2015 . “Nimoy revealed last month that he was suffering from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.”

While he will forever be revered and immortalized yet, best known for his work on “Star Trek” and

“Live long and prosper.” – First spoken on Star Trek, season 2, episode 1 (“Amok Time,” 1968).  Leonard Nimoy was very active in social media and would end his emails and posts with #LLAP.

The Vulcan And Bipolar Disorder – Fascinating

While you can let your inner-nerd or repressed trekkie morn for the loss of Mr. Spock. I grieve for Mr. Leonard Nimoy. Yet his body of work and his public emotional compassion for “the fans” you know he surely was not a Vulcan in real life.  Yet, nonetheless, his character will live on in Trekkie conventions till the end of our Stardate.

Gene Roddenberry, the creator of and writer of Star trek, really captured a brilliant character with Mr Spock. I am living with bipolar disorder and have  always felt an infinity for Star Trek’s character;s Spock. Something about half-vulcan’s all logic extreme battling…balanced his mind; reminds me of what many of us do every day while living with a mood disorder. Seems somewhat illogical! Then, you have the time of emotional out bursts or extreme anger, passion, rage…Still Mr. Spock was a man/vulcan in crisis with his emotional state until he could master it after years of training.  Looks a lot like Bipolar to me – and I was happy, since he was a very smart and lovable character.  Not that our goal is to be devoid of feelings – but rather to be in control of them should be everyone’s end goal.

 Logic Clear – If it was that simple…

In the movies Mr. Spock says “Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”  True, but when you’re living with Bipolar Disorder and Depression, crippling anxiety, PTSD and a host of other labels, then needs of the one become paramount. Yes, when dealing with mental disorders a reversal of this message could apply, or As Capt. Kirk Said “Because the needs of the one outweigh the needs of the many.”

While I am sure you will read  or see over the next few days about Leonard Nimoy’s story after story, I just wanted to share mine.  Growing up in the 80’s and watching the re-runs and seeing all the movies on the big screen had an impact on me.  I may not be a life-long fan club member, a fan I am.

Leonard Nimoy once stated “I am not Spock, but if I could choose another person to be, I would choose Spock.” Who will argue with logic?

Finally, I’ll end with Capt. James T. Kirk’s line at the end of “Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan”…it is fitting, it was for Mr. Spock’s funeral:

“Of all the souls I have encountered in my travels, his was the most… human.” – Capt. James T. Kirk

—

Main Cast

William Shatner – Captain James T. Kirk

Leonard Nimoy (1931–2015) Mr. Spock

DeForest Kelley (1920–1999) Bones

James Doohan (1920–2005)  Scotty

Walter Koenig – Pavel Chekov

George Takei – Sulu

Nichelle Nichols – Uhura

Medication Bottle: (Anonymous mask – Mental Health)
Liquor Bottle: (Anonymous mask – Mental Illness)
Crack Pipe: (Anonymous mask – Mental Disorder)
Caption: Is it time to unmask addiction?

Helping A Fellow Advocate with Some Serious Funny

Chato Stewart is one of those gems you find when Googling for information for this newsletter. He opened himself up to me recently. Turns out, this guy has some real insight and we could all learn something from his path and his laughter. – Voice of HOPE  9/2011

We have been Facebook friends ever since.

I want to thank The Voice of HOPE up in Ontario, Canada for giving me the opportunity to share my cartoons in their quarterly newsletter. The above- Mental Health Humor cartoon is from the Over-Medicated series and was published in the March issue.

I got a message from my Facebook pal and Editor of the Voice of HOPE. In the pas,t she has published a few cartoons but this time she was looking for a subject matter that I wanted to add more to in my cartoon collection. She asked:

“Our next issue is on addictions and wondering if you had anything along that line…“

It’s just a hard subject to draw and be funny since it’s so serious.  Ah-ha! but that is WHAT the Mental Health humor cartoons are meant for – a way to open or lead into serious topics in a whimsical yet provoking way without invoking too much negativity. It’s a tight rope walk…good thing, I will have a lot of time to think about this cartoons I thought to myself.  As I IM’ed:

Chato Stewart: “okay – what is the deadline?“

Editor: “Hey buddy…..next week sometime???”

Chato Stewart: “Sure I say… and I get to Drawing!”

Here is a chart that lists all the Commonly Abused Drugs. In the cartoon, I just focus on three…I’m a cartoonist not a miracle worker!

http://www.drugabuse.gov/sites/default/files/cadchart_2.pdf

“Their mission is to nurture hope and discovery by supporting the recovery journey of people affected by mental health and/or addiction challenges.”

The Voice of HOPE Newsletter March 2015
Penetanguishene Ontario Canada

,

National Institute on Drug Abuse. Commonly Abused Prescription Drugs Chart Retrieved from http://www.drugabuse.gov/drugs-abuse/commonly-abused-drugs-charts/commonly-abused-prescription-drugs-chart on March 5, 2015

#Youfit60Days @youfit
Wall: Doctor degree Dr. Bob Bob | Chart: (Chato’s Annual Body Mass Index BMI)
Chato Stewart: I’m Off the Charts
Caption : The Measure of a Man.

Mental Goals are Slipping

In 2014, my goal was to get in the mind set to stop dieting and change the way I eat for ever.  I did – well, after I caped out at 405. lbs (morbidly obesity).  I was able to get down to 372. lbs on my own.  Then out of the blue came the “BLUES”! woke up one day and the meds did not work and I was in the grasps of a major bipolar depression. At this point emotional eat and bindgeing (Bindge Eating Disorder) slipping… My A1c was 10.8 and my blood sugar was in the high 300’s coming at the end of 2014.  Things! have to CHANGE…or I’m dead!

Weight-Loss  60 Days to a Better YOU

The other day I get an email from my local gym Youfit Health Clubs, proud paying member for over a year and half! (They have not missed a month of automatically charging my bank account.)  Even when money is not even there, they some how got paid.  Needless to say, I must be going to the gym at least 7 days a week, no? 6 days? 5 days?…1 day, come on they are charging me right so I have to go…. Hold on this is me – I’m lucky if I get there once a month!  Still I won’t cancel the membership! I know I need to go, I just have to get the motivation and the support I need to help me mentally do this long-term.

Enter the email…Now I know 5000 reasons.  Can I keep my my mind balanced while I focus on my physical heath?  Taking many different medications and having so many health issues have the deck stacked against me… but that’s how it is every day.  I just need to use the prize as motivation… #5000reasons!

I will keep you posted.  Please support me and keep me motivated.

Youfit Challenge Participant Packet Email

March 2-April 30
Congratulations on starting your journey to becoming a better YOU!

We’re excited to have you on board and
can’t wait to see your transformation unfold. Please review the details in this packet to become acquainted
with the challenge rules, resources, requirements, and important dates.
Grand Prize: $5000 cash prize! Plus one year membership and 15 free YouCoach Sessions!
How to Win: Member with highest % of weight loss wins!
• Must complete all three weigh-in measurements at selected dates below
• Must complete a before and after photo at selected dates below
• Must be 18 years or older

 

Social Media:
While you complete your fitness challenge, we encourage you to share your thoughts, pictures and videos
on social media! Be sure to hashtag #Youfit60Days for your chance to be featured on our pages. Stay
connected! Like and follow us on social media:

 

  

Please Show Your Support via Social Media share my cartoons and add the hashtags #Youfit60Days @youfit #5000reasons

facebook.com/YoufitHealthClubs 

twitter.com/youfit 

instagram.com/youfithealthclubs

#Youfit60Days @youfit
Wall: Doctor degree Dr. Bob Bob | Chart: (Chatos Stewart’s Annual Body Mass Index BMI)
Chato Stewart: I’m Off the Charts
Caption : The Measure of a Man.

Weight-loss is not a new game for me…I’m on the Procrastination Diet. When on this diet, I hit 405 pounds (and for those using the British Imperial  Avoirdupois System that’s a whopping 28.92 Stone)!  Yes, I said 405 Pounds was/is my heaviest that I’ve ever been, and I never want to see that number again…full of mixed feelings. I recognized in December 2011 that I was, in fact, being very apathetic about my health. It was suicide by apathy; or Suicide by Food. I could really care less if I lived or died.

If you or a loved one is  living with a mental illness, or mood disorder such as: Depression or Bipolar Disorder or Anxiety with a  history of suicide issues/tendencies, behavior, speech, idealization and even attempts….Then you know the heart wrenching depths of painful feelings and of making a bad decision.  If we are lucky, we failed in our end of life decision and lived to regret even allowing our “condition to get so out of control” that it led us down that dark road of possible no return.

The following suicide prevention article is being republished with permission by staff writer Brenda Barbosa attributed to Charlotte Sun. 

There’s no doubt in 43-year old Chato B. Stewart’s mind that he’d be dead if he’d had access to a gun that dreadful night in 2004 when he planned to kill himself.

A powerful cocktail of medications prescribed to treat his depression threw the Port Charlotte man into a hallucinogenic spiral that ultimately landed him in a Sarasota crisis stabilization unit.

Using a hot knife, he branded the date of the event permanently on his forearm — his version of a suicide note.

http://www.cbhcfl.org/tag/suicide-prevention/

Stewart considers himself among the lucky. Not only did he survive — doctors say he’s thriving. Stewart is using his experiences and struggles with mental illness to bring awareness to an issue that has long been plagued by stigma. As a blogger, cartoonist and mental health activist, today he uses art as a therapeutic way to cope with his illness and inspire others to seek treatment. Mental illness, he said, does not have to be a death sentence.

“I didn’t want to die; I just wanted relief from the pain I was feeling inside,” he said. “People need to know that this is an illness, and you can intervene up until the very last breath. But once it’s over, that’s it. It’s over. There’s nothing you can do.”

WeightLoss Challenge:  Suicide Prevention

Yes, my body mass index (BMI) is lik 52% as this former Bostonian might say “wicked supa-obese!”  The Mental Health Humor via The Family  Stew series highlights willpower issues…. showing that willpower is a myth. Instead, it takes education about nutrition, etc. Getting to understated your body, and know what works for you. Something I am having to redo again.

Then for me personally, I chose to wear my Suicide Prevention t-shirt for my before photo.  As you can see, it’s not the best fit, but the message is.

Chato Stewart 2/27/2015 372.8lbs.

It took some deep reflection and thought for me to find the search for spock of motivation to get physically healthy.  First I had to get some “synergy” in my life.  That synergy came with the right combination of meds and getting help…I wish I could say in 2004, was the only time I dealt with suicidal behavior.  In 2008, I slipped back into old emotional darkness… That led to the the creation of the Mental Health Humor cartoons.

  

Please Show Your Support via Social Media share my cartoons and add the hashtags #Youfit60Days @youfit #5000reasons

facebook.com/YoufitHealthClubs 

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#Youfit60Days @youfit
Chato Stewart: I MUST NOT QUIT
Caption : Is there a conflicting relationship between our belief System & reality?

Weight-Loss and Mental Mental Goals

Wonderful you’re back with me on my weight-loss journey (WeightLoss Challenge: 60 Days to a Better YOU). These are the voyages nay, more like my own odyssey filled with epic challenges and tragic weight-gain over mental health compromise.  The story is incredible and giving you some history with me, Chato Stewart at my absolutely lowest:  WeightLoss Challenge: Weight Gain – Suicide By Food).

Now you know the “what I’m Doing” and “why I’m doing it”… Now all I had to do was sign up, get weighed and get started!

Day One- Signing up – Almost Sealed the FAIL DEAL

The YouFit challenge couldn’t have come at a better time. I have been working hard for the last two years, slowly making changes and I have lost weight and more importantly, I’m eating better.  But I ran into a wall and then got really down and I’ve been up and down for the last few months with the same 15 lbs.  Starting this challenge would be the kick-start I need. I hope to set up a lasting nutrition plan.

Hurdle one: I stubbed my large toe on my left foot.  Save the gory details, other than the fact that I keep hitting it and the last time, I hit it really bad and the stupid thing is almost hangin’ off.  Being diabetic, I go into triage mode and clean it and apply globs of triple antibiotic ointment and bandage it up. I check the color, the smell, and keep it clean. But it’s still bleeding when I go in for my weigh in.  Yuck.  Back to that toe later.

THE CHALLENGE WAS ALMOST OVER BEFORE IT EVER BEGAN.

It was almost over before it began. Yes, sad to say, before I even started my #Youfit60Days challenge I almost didn’t even get through the sign-up process. I was devastated embarrassed and ashamed, I felt the proverbial wind in my sail deflated. Why?

My weight has always been an issue. Here I am at my gym signing up for a weight loss contest and I feel excited at first, elated the wind is in my sail ao to speak. All is going well, getting ready to take my picture for my before picture, of which I’m wearing my t shirt for suicide prevention, and then she asks me to step on the scale for the official weigh-in for the contest. This contest is for a cash prize, so there has to be an official weigh in.

I step on…She says “oh my. ” I say “what’s wrong?” Then look down to see a reading of “Eer”. “That never happened,” she asked me to step on the scale while another employee staff member walks in. “Step on it again” I’m told. So, once again, I step and once again, the scale reads EER meaning error. The employee says this scale only goes up to 360 pounds. She has me go on the other scale which cannot read my weight either. Now, I’m getting anxious about no scale in this gym can read my weight. How can a gym not have a scale that could read anyone’s weight no matter what the size?!? I thought and asked… I was getting into that fight or flight mode. You would think that a gym offering a fitness challenge would have a scale able to weigh members my size. A working scale, You would think, is somewhat important.

Weight-Loss:  Mortified & Discouraged

My Fit Coach then had a conversation with her manager.  A real nice guy, but the manager has rules.  I can’t be entered into the contest unless I get a doctor’s note to identify how much I weigh at the start of the contest. YES, I need a doctor’s NOTE! Not to say, I’m healthy to participate with my medical issues or mental health battles…no, I need a note to verify I’m fat!

I’m mortified at this point. I’m feeling discouraged as I continue talking with my Fit Coach. I try to explain my dilemma, that without insurance making a doctor’s appointment would be adding a strain on my limited budget. Now I’m even more anxious and and on the verge of a panic attack all over my weight… now, I’m feeling shame and even expressed how embarrassed I am and this is ridiculous. I walk out of the gym totally deflated. In my mind thinking I am never coming back; just ready to give up. My fight or flight instinct kicked in and I’m ready to run.

Weight-Loss:  I MUST NOT QUIT!

When I walk out of the gym, I was disturbed to say the least. Feeling humiliated and demoralized I had a choice to make: let this derail my weight-loss goal or ACT right then and there and do something positive about this situation.  I knew I MUST NOT QUIT! I figure I will just go to my doctor’s office and tell them my story and how Mortified and Discouraged I am over the whole thing and ask if they can give me some type of “doctor’s note.”  Happy, they are more then willing to help out. Crisis averted! I am no longer agitated, but instead overjoyed that I can weigh in officially at 372.8.

That is what the Mental Health Humor series cartoon from The Family Stew is about…not quitting.  Two weeks into the YouFit 60 day challenge and a few Boot Camp classes later (“Boot Camp combines aerobics, strength training, and flexibility. Designed to push your body to a higher level of physical fitness, this class will get you fit.”), I’m happy to say my at home scale is reporting me down 8 pounds.

  

Please Show Your Support via Social Media share my cartoons and add the hashtags #Youfit60Days @youfit #5000reasons

facebook.com/YoufitHealthClubs 

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Maggot Chad: If I work hard and apply myself…Ya know Rod, one day even I could be a “Medical Maggot!”
Maggot Rod: [eating lunch]
Caption: Even You Can Have A Higher Purpose!

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What to do When The Track Disappears?

Okay, you know when you start off thinking you’re going in one direction and you believe, with all your heart, that you’re going in the right direction and you earnestly-fervently try, with all you might, to stay the course! You’re on the final frontier. Yes, you are fighting the fine fight, making sure that everything you do is true to the true north in your direction because you have your eyesight on the prize. In this case, my prize is the Youfit 60 day fitness challenge. (WeightLoss Challenge: 60 Days to a Better YOU, WeightLoss Challenge: Mortified & Discouraged &WeightLoss Challenge: Weight Gain – Suicide By Food).

You are without fail determined to keep going straight on till morning. No matter what, you will not be deterred. You know when you’re that motivated, sometimes you are a little delusional. I think because you forget that this over-enthusiastic idea can easily be popped like bubbles.

Like a train going on a track and then the track disappears. What is the train going to do? Well the train is going to keep going forward without a track, no doubt, till it comes to a halt? It’s going to get messy and it’s going to be a pile up behind it. What’s the point?

My “track disappeared” Monday, not soon after, I posted a photo to facebook from my doctor’s office. At my doctor’s visit, I was confident and exultantly talking to the the nurse about my weight loss. Asked if she could do an A1C (An “A1C test gives you a picture of your average blood glucose (blood sugar) control for the past 3 months”).

My Doctor comes into the the room, everyone calls her Dr. G. because they can’t pronounce her Italian last name correctly… I like to call her by her real name, and yes, I pronounces her name right and we have a very a good rapport. She tells me my A1C is down 10.5 to 9. And is happy I’m losing weight. So things are going well. I bring up the issue of my toe that I stubbed about a month ago.  Thinking it’s a non-issue, it is my large toe on my left foot that I kept stubbing over and over until I dislodged the toenail. (Gross I know.) What would happen over the next 6 days would derail me and put losing my toe and even my life on the line.

Is that Limburger Cheese I smell?

Diabetics know you must take care of your feet!  To that end, I have all kinds of useless products that are made for “helping your feet.”  Like the $19.99 pair of socks made to help with circulation that were just knee-high socks. They were two sizes too small and I just squeezed my feet and legs in, not sure they that helped.

Now I have a real injury! One I kept hitting over and over and I must take care of it. I’m taking care of my toe using triple antibiotic fluid cream, wrapping it up, and cleaning it every day. (I figured, maybe, I could salvage the toenail and things would turn out okay.) Well, it just kept hurting more and more and it was painful working out at the gym (boot camp). I just worked out through the pain. The pain, just became secondary until I saw the doctor. Dr. G took a look at it, unwrapped my toe and the nail looked a little yellow. “That looks like it hurts,”  she says. Then she pokes it and lifts the nail???? Ouch! “Yes, that did,” I say with a smile. “Oh, do you smell that?” she asks. I could smell a pungent odor –Limburger Cheese in the air– and immediately, I knew I was in trouble.

She looked up at me and she said, you know what that is right? (and she lifted  up my toenail again which literally came off.) She is wondering if we should leave it on or cut it off..I tell her to just pull it off! Without a blink, Dr. G bends down and yanks it off like an old band-aid!

What do you think was growing underneath my toenail beginning to stink like a cheese smell? Gangrene: YUM!

Without the right treatment, I could lose my toe!  It could already be in my blood stream, since I waited for over a month to be seen…I could lose my toe or even my life!

I know this story is long-winded, sorry, it’s been a long week!  I can tell you that it has helped me put into perspective a lot. Being diabetic, I thought I was taking good care of my toe, but in fact, I wasn’t. Not having insurance, I had to still wait two weeks before I could be seen, but it was not a big deal because it was a toenail.

We had to make an immediate decision as to how we treated the serious toe situation. Am I going to be put on oral antibiotics and hope for the best or would I be given painful, high dose antibiotic injections and aggressively attack my stinky toe? Not being bashful of a little pain, I opted for the shots. But since I couldn’t remember when the last time I had a tetanus shot, I was lucky enough to get two shots that day. One in my arm for tetanus and the very potent, extremely powerful antibiotic in my gluteus maximus. Getting the shot in the arm was nothing. The antibiotic felt more like a bee sting then it started to burn. It was tolerable, but I could see how people could be afraid of a 2 inch needle…it was a 4 inch/big needle.

Later that night, I could actually feel the antibiotic attacking my cheesy toe. It was a weird sensation but I wasn’t sure if it was going to work. So I started to research different treatments for gangrene and removal of dead tissue. Besides having a doctor scrape dead tissue away which sounds really horrible, I came across a website that still uses maggots as a way to remove dead tissue. I told my wife to catch me a few house flies and I would put them in a jar with some meat and grow my own maggots (just in case my antibiotics don’t work.) Of course doing more research, I realize that you need specialized maggots or the term is “medical maggots.” Thinking about medical maggots, got me thinking immediately about a cartoon for the mental health humor…laughing at the idea of a maggot having a dream to be a doctor or a medical maggot came to my head. Finally, I sat down and drew the mental health humor cartoon-above titled Medical Maggot. Tuesday and Wednesday I went into my doctor and got my shots. My issue my doctor thinks is completely taken care of and with antibiotics, no more cheesy-toe… Too bad, because I was thinking about having tacos: could use some cheese: yuck! I’m thinking about adding a couple pictures at the very bottom, I’m very leery since this is a humor blog. I think I might forgo the photos since it might make you lose your lunch. Unless, you’re looking to put some cheese back on it.

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Box: Bottles of Ambiguity Aversions
Whisky: Bottle product #1|Looking Good|Selfmedication Liqueur|2015|ALC99%|VOL250ML
Vodka: Bottle product #1|ANGST|Selfmedication Liqueur|2015|ALC99%|VOL250ML
Rum: Bottle product #1|I Can Drive|Selfmedication Liqueur|2015|ALC99%|VOL250ML
Caption:Discovery! Researchers find alcohol spikes risky behavior in guys…really?
Cartoon#1526

Drunk Driving OR Just Buzzed Driving

Drinking and driving – it almost killed my brother. I know many people who have very tragic stories because someone thought they were okay to drive.  Maybe we have all been there at one point or another…most guys who have a few beers with friends to watch a game know what I mean. You have a brew, then two, another at halftime and one with the pizza. You talk about the game, maybe you have a fantasy league going…Whatever and before the game is done, you might have downed a six pack. You’re “NOT DRUNK“… You’re definitely buzzed…What do you do?  Take a cab  – sleep it off or shrug off the idea that you’re impaired in any way and drive home.

Statistically speaking, most guys/and many gals will just drive home and they will make it safe and sound…The others who have chosen to drive home – end up in car accidents and many result in death (sadly it’s often innocent people, in the other car, that end up dead!)

“Drivers at a breath alcohol level of 0.08 percent, the legal limit in every state, were about four times more likely to crash than sober drivers…Drivers with an alcohol level of 0.15 percent were 12 times more likely to crash than sober drivers” ~ PDF Crash Risk Study FactSheet

It is so dangerous to drink and drive! If you take prescription medications for treatment of mental disorders, such as Bipolar Disorder, Depression, Schizophrenia or Other Mood Disorders….It can be even more dangerous when you mix the meds (ANY MEDS) with alcohol. One, the interaction of the drugs and alcohol can trigger unwanted side-effects and consequences. Two – Your meds might not work.  You could black-out while driving…could feel like you’re not only buzzed but you’re really smashed!  And soon to crash…literally!!!

In a recent post, by PsychCentral Associate News Editor, TRACI PEDERSEN, the topic title struck me a bit funny, though the information was serious enough to highlight. Pedersen points out that “alcohol tends to push a person toward riskier behavior.” What I found a bit funny was the wording a “new study”… “In a new study, researchers discovered that as blood alcohol levels spike, males, in particular, are more likely to make riskier choices.”  I just kind of thought this to be a no-brainer. Beer (drugs)+ Guys = Guys doing stupid things… Don’t believe me? Well, here are 5 movie titles that will answer all your questions.

• Jackass: The Movie (2002)
• Jackass Number Two (2006)
• Jackass 2.5 (2007)
• Jackass 3D (2010)
• Jackass 3.5 (2011)

They made Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, and Wee-Man household names.  They show us what not to do.

Read the full post here: After Drinking, Men More Likely to Take Risks

PS a good follow up read is: Teens Need to Know Risks of Prescription Drugs

This was a year of great turmoil in my life.  I remember it with so much pain and so much personal growth.  The year leading up to it, 1987, was filled with some great pop-music, fun parties and a year-long fence I was proverbially sitting on.  A life-altering-change was needed, but I was too foolish, childish and immature, at the time, to appreciate it–at the time.  Yet, I was only 16.

I knew violence, I knew hate, I knew TAKE and Steal. I learned in the projects a group is more powerful than one. Yet, when push comes to shove if you’re the weak one, you’re going to be beat up till you can stand up or take a punch.  Yes, I knew pain. I was usually the odd one out, till I got the nick name “Psycho Stew” BUT…What I also knew and kept hidden was the depression, the mania, the cutting. I knew alcohol and drug use, I knew sex (well, I thought I knew it).

Yet, starting around 1985, I was learning something that helped make a change with me…I was letting go of the hate. My fighting was only in defense (I did not go starting/looking for a fight).  Drugs were gone – but i still had access to my major supplier of prescription Tylenol–Codeine #3 – I could still get a good buzz with them; with the right mix.  But even by 1988 what I was learning had me changing my old way.

I was attending theocratic meetings 3 times a weeks and meeting new, positive people. People like my now brother-in-law, who back in 1988, lived in a rival projects. We had no dealings with that area and it was common to have beefs (fights) with anyone from that projects if they came into “ours”.  Yet, here we are in the same building, learning about the same God.  I would go hang out where he lived and he would hang where I lived… People did not like it.

I remember so-called friends that made one last attempt to “save” me from my new bible education in 1986. Calling me over to a group of them on a stoop (cement stairs). Recall what I said earlier about “a group is more powerful than one”… Well, here I am, ONE.  No sooner do I get over–when my “friend” kicked me in the face and a fist fight ensued. I remember the rage. I let loose on him and the bloody lip as I pounded his head into the harder grass.  I was overwhelmed with emotion and even cried saying, why? I was shocked that he turned on me so easily…Someone I’ve know since I was 6 years old.

That is the project way…Now I was learning a New way…

My new friend mentioned above, we’ll call him Chris, he had my back all of 1988, and longer…a true friend is like a true brother (even before he became my actual brother-in-law; marrying one of my sisters).

Today’s Toss back Tuesday is for me, remembering 1988.  The good, the bad, the bro’s.

Oh, the drawing I did for a girl I was dating, the I Love You was because she taught ASL (American Sign Language). She dumped me because she thought she was too old for me.  (LOL – I liked, dated older women – Joan Winifred is the last one of them old women! My wife of almost 24 years.)

Caption:  Concrete Mental Health Advocates Help Fill In the Gaps

Mental Illness: Same Stuff Different Day!

The acts of the few condemn us all.  I feel it around me more and more. You try to make something beautiful only to have someone defecate all over it!

Yes, it’s like a thickening broth on the stove.  Rendering it down to try and get the best flavors.  You can smell the aroma of spices and herbs blending like a fine melody; you are ready to call it a sauce. Then someone, a stranger, walks into the kitchen and pours vinegar in right in front of you. Then walks away… LOL…(I bet you thought I was going to keep with the defecation analogy.)

Rightfully–I should have stuck with the nasty imagery. It would fit how I feel.  Maybe I am just at a low point right now and/or overloaded on a lot of negative mental health events both nationally and locally.

Some days, you feel like there is so much progress being made.  People are starting to understand and look at you as an “Advocate for positive change.”  That we, people living with mental illness, mental disorders, and mood disorders….whether it is Bipolar Disorder, Depression or Whatever The Diagnosis You Live With, we remind Others: WE are PEOPLE FIRST! Not things that go bump in the night. Not People to fear…|

|-<<<BUMP>>>-|

“Florida Boy, 12, Shoots Brothers In Murder-Suicide One Day After Mom Pleaded For Help’” (I won’t link to that. You will have to google it, it’s too sad to read, and I don’t want to be the one to send you there).

|-<<<BUMP>>>-|

“Florida man killed family in murder-suicide drowning: police” – This accident happened a while ago, but they were not sure what truly happened till they got the car out: “father’s foot was still pressing the accelerator down to the floor.”

 |-<<<BUMP>>>-  |

Yes, there is  Andreas Lubitz, the Alp Crash and his suicidal tendencies (See: Germanwings crash response & Plane Crash in the Alps, Andreas Lubitz).

 Concrete Advocate

Before this group of suicides, there was Robin Williams, then the many mass shootings… It seems like we advocates have to talk more and more about WHAT CAN REALLY TRAGICALLY GO WRONG.

This is so draining on advocacy – it is a major cause of “Mental Health Advocate Burn-Out.” We can be highlighting the positives and powerful people who have to fight battles each day, each hour, each minute with Bipolar, Depression, OCD, ADHD, Borderline, Schizophrenia (Symptoms & Treatments of Mental Disorders) which is noteworthy, commendable, newsworthy then…BAM! Negative, tragic acts of the few, yet widely seen on mass media,…seem to condemn us all.

Being a Bostonian, I can tell you, I’m used to quick hot to cold changes with temperature and weather and with people. We Bostonians (and I’m sure it could be said for most city folk) can come off very cold- hearted passing you in the street, on a bus or train (subway/T).  But give us a few moments and some respect (human dignity) and you will see most are “wicked good people!”

This is why, we can’t let the acts of some in crisis, who sadly fall through the cracks of the Mental Health System,…define us or get us down. Instead, we must become more than advocates… we need to to be Concrete Advocates helping patch-up the cracks in the system. To lessen the chances of others falling through. The more workers filling in the gaps and cracks–the less bumps in the night. (Just don’t look under the bed.)

Chato Stewart Notes:
Starting Off April with a toss-back to 2007 cartoon – Turned into a MENTAL HEALTH HUMOR cartoon in 2011. This cartoon was from my very first series da’ Stew-Pid World. That would become the Mental Health Humor cartoon in 2008.  My Facebook Friend Chuck Brown help me back then.  He suggested that i use the same font for all my cartoons.  Something i was not doing… I was free styling my lettering, he recommended I stop.  Best advice I ever got since my text was so unprofessional.  He also change one word in this cartoon that made it funny-er… “someone” to “sole”.  Thanks Mr. D!

Death: I Found the Eggs… Now What?
Caption: The Mythology Of the Easter Bunny Ends with Death’s Hunt…

Also See Cartoons:  Death & Taxes | Death Penalty |Brush with Death | Flirting With Death | PLAY With DEATH

Mythology Of the Easter

1. Name: The Encyclopædia Britannica says: “The English name Easter is of uncertain origin; the Anglo-Saxon priest Venerable Bede in the 8th century derived it from the Anglo-Saxon spring goddess Eostre.” Others link it to Astarte, the Phoenician fertility goddess who had the Babylonian counterpart Ishtar.

2. Hares, rabbits: These are symbols of fertility “handed down from the ancient ceremonial and symbolism of European and Middle Eastern pagan spring festivals.”—Encyclopædia Britannica.

3. Eggs: According to Funk & Wagnalls Standard Dictionary of Folklore, Mythology and Legend, the hunt for Easter eggs, supposedly brought by the Easter rabbit, “is not mere child’s play, but the vestige of a fertility rite.” Some cultures believed that the decorated Easter egg “could magically bring happiness, prosperity, health, and protection.”—Traditional Festivals.

4. New Easter outfit: “It was considered discourteous and therefore bad luck to greet the Scandinavian goddess of Spring, or Eastre, in anything but fresh garb.”—The Giant Book of Superstitions.

5. Sunrise services: These have been linked to rites of ancient sun worshippers “performed at the vernal equinox welcoming the sun and its great power to bring new life to all growing things.”—Celebrations—The Complete Book of American Holidays.

Caption: Serotonin’s molecular formula: Remarkable proof  therapy works!

Note, I had to rethink Serotonin, after I drew the above-Mental Health Humor cartoon.  I actually finished the cartoon back on February 12, 2014… I was not happy with the then caption. So, I just “tabled the toon.”  I “TABLE” or hold cartoons and even ideas until I feel happy with them.  Sitting on a toon (hold publishing a finished toon) for two months is nothing. I have some that are 7 years old, that I’m just not happy with or could not draw the concept correctly.

I go back to the table and try and fix a toon as often as I can.  This cartoon was different, since it was going to be the start of a series of toons of “molecular formula.”  I got hung up on this one, only because that my thinking was  Serotonin was the “chemical imbalance” equalizer and fixer to Depression. I knew something was off when I asked The Bloggers Psych Central Facebook:

“I would love it if some one would like to give Mental Health Humor a quote on the power of Serotonin. Why it seem to make us happy. This will go along with a cartoon i’m work on.” Chato Stewart- March 4th

When you ask blogger for quotes, you normally get bloggers trying out quotes on each other to be picked to be listed… Bloggers  <3 Loved to be quoted!  This did not even get a like…  Hmmm, what did I say, to the 75%  or more professionals in the industry that love to blog (talk and write and be quoted) that had them (keyboards) turned off?  What tactless faux pas did I make?

I said the the “S” word – Serotonin

I said the the “S” word – Serotonin  and associated it with happiness?  This was the only connection I could find in why the otherwise helpful bloggers and usually willing to be quoted and share their knowledge were perhaps, silent since… Serotonin (SSRI) has a lot of controversy over it in the professional world. This is where it was going take a lot or personal research for me and has me now rethinking Serotonin.  It has me rethinking my terms I use.  I also feel a little duped by the marketing.  What I learned explains why many SSRI’s never work on my DEPRESSION.

Then, I read Dr John’s blog post: “Low Serotonin Levels Don’t Cause Depression” and  Is Serotonin the Main Factor or Cause of Depression?

Is Serotonin the Main Factor or Cause of Depression? And got the simple answer “No, it’s not.”

~*~

Dr Sigmund Foal: Tell me about your Mare?
Certification on wall: Filly-ology Sigmund Foal 
Caption: Dr Sigmund Foal: Tell me about your Mare?

~*~

Chato Stewart:This Equine therapy is really helping me…
Caption: Too bad it only one directional…

(Cartoon for National Health Blog Post Month)

~*~

Caption: Equine therapy for Weight-loss

~*~

Caption: Death and Taxes

“Benjamin Franklin said there were only two things certain in life: death and taxes.”

 Chato’s Mental Health Humor Cartoon notes: While I was rushing to the post office today on April 15th to get my stuff  stamped.  Sending it Certified U.S. Mail with Return Receipt Requested.  Something recommended that I should do, so I did, and it cost me and extra $6.99.  Not sure If can deduct that next year?

Anyway, while I was doing a zillion things in my mind – I started to to think how funny it would be to see “Death” in line at the post office mailing tax returns. That is when I quickly reached for some paper to write down the idea…If i don’t record/ write it /draw/ or doodle it–i will forget… And move on to the next creative process.

The end cartoon is the mental health humor toon above with “Death” in line at the USPS.  Did you notice his envelope’s return address?

Please don’t psychoanalyze me about drawing dark humor using “Death”! I already have a diagnosis.  

Also See:

Death hunt | Death & Taxes | Death Penalty |Brush with Death | Flirting With Death | PLAY With DEATH

#MHHCartoon  panel 1| Bob: Wow, a Red Tailed Hawk! (Hat: I Heart Bird Window = ‘i love bird watching’ t-shirt:Urban Birding)
#MHHCartoon  panel 2| Red Tailed Hawk: “SMACK!”  (Red Tailed Hawk crashed into a building window pane and slowly sliding down dead)
#MHHCartoon  panel 3| Bob: “That Hawk almost got to 10th street!”
Caption: The Joy of Inner City Birding…BUT watching can be “Pane-full”.

Yes, we are a month into spring, but for many, in the country, it was a bit belated due to record amounts of snowfall this Winter. Some are still cleaning up piles of old salted-snow-drifts that seem like they just won’t melt.

Here in Florida there are many beautiful birds in vast variety. My family and I have en-JOY-ed bird watching up North also.  One of our daughters absolutely loves birds and is very protective of them.  Well, that’s when she’s not trying to catch them. Down here it’s a lot different then when I was a boy chasing ducks and Canadian Geese at Pine Banks Park in Malden or the  seagulls at Revere Beach. The birds in Florida are huge!  SO WHEN SHE WAS RUNNING after a Blue Herring, or a Brown Pelican, to pet, we had to hold her back–in fear she would get carried away.

Considering the hobby of birding or bird watching…it can have some really positive and enjoyable effects. But can it be used as a stress-reducer,  pain-reliever? Can bird watching indeed help us mentally and emotionally?

Keeping our minds active and healthy is essential for our overall sense of well-being. The Alzheimer’s Association suggests that if we want to keep our brains healthy we need to keep learning new things. What better way to do that than by continuing to learn about birds? If you are new to bird-watching, just identifying the birds you see can be a challenging mental puzzle. If you are an experienced birder, you can still learn new things every day about the behavior of your local birds. Studies have shown that these kinds of mental exercises can help form new neural paths that can help fight back against diseases like Alzheimer’s, other forms of dementia and Parkinson’s.

Birdwatching Leads to New Experiences
Variety is the spice of life. This is an old saying, but it’s true. Lack of variety in our lives can lead to boredom and a general sense of fatigue. Adding variety can make us more energized and positive, giving us more to look forward to. And of course, in terms of variety, birds offer a dizzying array of colors, calls and behaviors. You can’t predict all the birds you’ll see while going out birding. On any given day, some of the expected birds will be nowhere to be seen while totally unexpected ones may pop up at any moment. So birding offers both a reassuring sense of the predictable and an exciting sense of the unpredictable, keeping us on our toes and alive to the possibilities.

Read more: http://www.birdsandblooms.com/birding/birding-basics/birding-health/#ixzz3XTxkfjU4

Powerpoint presentation:
Not The Fork. Who “TO” blame for your eating disorder?

1.  Your parents
2. Your girlfriend / wife
3. Genetics”big bones”
4. Fat shaming

Not The Fork (* or knife or spoon )

Stainless Steel Dinner Fork: Told you, Brian in Public Relations would keep us all stainless.

Caption: Cutlery’s PR Rep spins unsubstantiated rumors they cause Eating Disorders.

Mental Health Humor Cartoon Weight Loss Issues|Weight Loss Issues |Weight Loss Issues 

I was moved and inspired to draw the above mental health humor cartoon after reading new Psych Central blogger Brian Cuban.  Brain is a successful lawyer, activist and TV host. The younger brother of Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban and author of the book  Shattered Image: My Triumph Over Body Dysmorphic Disorder. “In the book he opens up about his personal battle with a mental disorder known as Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) in which the sufferer is preoccupied with a distorted sense of self-image and is often afflicted with eating disorders, depression and addiction.”

As many of my readers know, I am a big guy working on losing weight.  I always seem to get on track–only to get derailed.  Brian posted “Please Don’t Tell Me I Blame My Parents For My Eating Disorder!”  on April 26,2015. Immediately, it struck my creative mind a spinning!  Yes, my whimsical mental health humor brain synapses were firing, Or was that the Chipotle Mexican Grill Burrito?

Who is to Blame? THE FORK!

When it came to blaming others for eating disorders.. As you know I, Chato Stewart, am not a very skinny boy. No, in fact, I am considered very large man with a large appetite I have. “I am not Lazy!  It takes a lot of work to get to 400lbs!” Weight loss & eating disorder has gone hand-in-hand and reading this blog Brian posted on blaming…helped me change my once delusional idea that my parents held the huge load of my weight issue.  When actually it really was someone, nay, should I say some things else…The FORK, KNIFE AND SPOON!!!  With that knowledge, I am no longer able or going to blame others for my belt size.  Today, my new journey start by educating the public about their EVIL utensils. FORK, KNIFE, AND SPOON–you will not hid in the shadows of shifting the blame game any more.  My eyes are wide open!  Next on the radar: chopping block finger foods!

Chato Stewart

Folks, let’s first remind you that Mental Health Humor Cartoons and Blog are drawn/written by me, Chato Stewart.  I am a father of 4 and I am living with Bipolar Disorder; officially diagnosed in 2003. My wife, Joan Winifred, knew something was not right with me not long after we go married in 1991.  Me, I always knew something was not right with me, but back in the 80’s–admitting to it or getting help for it was the last resort.  It was something families kept quiet about.  Like when my mom went away for a two-week vacation all by herself to a hospital.  As a kid, I did not know what it meant. It was a secret I never knew till I was older.  It was a shameful time to be mentally ill.

I’ve seen “Aggressive Dementia” type of mental/brain illness first hand, but please read what these fruit flies on the wall found out in this study:

Fruit Fly Study Probes Protein Role in Aggressive Dementia

To be continued (PART 2): Frontotemporal Aggressive Dementia In Action (Part 2)